What to say in the first message

Why 'hi' almost always fails

'Hi', 'are you there', 'nice to meet you' cost the other person nothing and give them nothing to think about — so all the pressure moves to them.

Openers that work all do one thing: hand the other person something concrete and easy to pick up.

Three openers you can use today

Quote their portrait: 'Your portrait says you observe before you approach — how long does it usually take before you say something?'

Share a scene: 'I also write at 2am. What are you usually doing at that hour?'

Light invitation: 'I want to visit a second-hand bookshop this weekend — any you would recommend?' Ask a question they can answer, not 'shall we go together'.

Rhythm: one line about you, one question

Only asking is an interview; only telling is a broadcast. One to one works: say something about yourself, then ask something.

If they reply briefly, do not add a third question — switch to a statement and give them something they can answer without performing.

When there is no reply

Two or three days is normal here; do not send a series. After three unanswered messages, leave it — that is timing, not failure.

If someone makes you uncomfortable, block or report. There are no read receipts to perform for.

Questions

How fast should replies be?

A day or two is normal. This is a slow place by design.

Can I send several messages?

One follow-up is fine, chasing is not. Stop after three.

Is meeting up right away okay?

Possible, but talk here first, check that your intentions match, and meet in public.